



PRICE IS CENTS. /( w / 


DE WITT’S ACTING- PLAYS. m 


(Number 152.) 


CUPID’S 


EYE-GLASS. 


A COMEDY, IN ONE ACT. 


BY THOMAS PICTON. 


Author of “ A Tempest in a Tea-Pot “ There's no Smoke without 
Fire," u 'Tis Better to Live than to Die “ A Hard 
Case,’’ “A Tell-Tale Heart etc., etc. 


to •which Aitn added 


A description of the Costume — Cast of the Characters — Entrances and Exits — 
Relative Positions of the Performers on the Stage, and 
the whole of the Stage Business. 




gTtto-gork : 

ROBERT M. DE WITT, PUBLISHER, 



No. 3 3 Rose Street. 


/ 



NOW 

READY. 




A TELL-TALE HEART. A Comedietta. In One Act. By Thoma? 
Picton. Price 15 Cents. 

A HARD CASE. A Faroe. In One Act. By Thomas Picton. 

15 Cents. 



% 







jcst These Plays will be sem to any address, postage paid, on receipt 
of price, Fifteen Cents each. 




WiTTj PUBLISHER, 

No. 33 Rose Street. 


No. 


No. 


1. Caste. Comedy. 3 Acts. By T. W, Kobert- 

8on. 5 Male, 3 Female Characters. 

2. Nobody’s Child. Dramatic I ’lay. 3 Acta. 

By Watts Phillips, Ksq. 18 Male, 2 Female 
Characters. 

3. £100,000. By II. J. Byron, 8 Male, 4 Fe- 

male Characters. 

4. Dandelion’s Dodges. Farce. 1 Act. By 

T. J. Williams. 4 Male, 2 Female Characters. 

5. William Tell I "With a Vengeance. 

Burlesque. 2 Acts. By H. J. Byron. 8 Male, 
2 Female Characters. 

6. Six Months Ago. Farce. 1 Act. By Felix 

Dale. 2 Male. I Female Characters. 

7. Maud’s Peril. Drama. 4 Acts. By Watts 

Phillips. 5 Male, 3 Female Characters. 

8. Henry Dunbar. Drama. 4 Acts. By Toni 

Taylor. 10 Male. 3 Female Characters. 

9. A Fearful Tragedy in the Seven 

Dials. A Farcical Intel hide. 1 Act. By 
Charles Selby. 4 Male, 1 Female Characters. 

10. The Snapping Turtles ; or, Matrimonial 

Masquerading. Duologue. I Act. By Joint B. 
Huckstone. 1 Male, 1 Female Characters. 

11. Woodcock’s Little Rame. Comedy 

Farce. 2 Acts. By John Maddison Morton. 
4 Male. 4 Female Characters. 

12. A Widow Hunt. Comedy. 3 Acts. (Al- 

tered f rom his own comedy of “ Everybody’s 
Friend.”) By J. Stirling Coyne. 4 Male, 4 
Female Characters. 

13. Ruy Klas. Komantic Drama. 4 Acts. 

From the French of Victor Hugo. 12 Male, 
4 Female Characters. 

14. No Thoroughfare. Drama. 5 A»ts and 

a Prologue. By Charles Dickens and Wilkie 
Collins. 13 Male, 0 Fema'e Characters. 

13. Illilky White. Domestic Drama. 2 Acts. 
By H. T. Craven. 4 Male, 2 Female Characters. 

16. Dearer than Fife. Serio-comie Drama. 2 

Acts. By Henry J. Byron. 6 Male, 5 Female 
Characters. 

17. Kind to a Fault. Comedy. 2 Acts. By 

WDIiam Brough. « Male, 4 Female Characteis. 


18 . 


19. 


29. 


21 . 

22 . 


If I had a Thousand a Year. Farce. 
1 Act. By John Maddison Morton. 4 Mule, 3 
Female Characters. 

lie’s a Lunatic. Farce. 1 Act. By Felix 
Dale. 3 Male. 2 Female Characters. 

Daddy Kray. Serio-comic Drama. 3 Acts, 
lty Andrew Halliday. 6 Male, 4 Female 
Characters. 

Play. Comedy. 4 Acts. By T. W. Robert- 
son. 7 Man* " w emale Characters. 

David flurries. Comedy. 3 Acts. By 
T. W. Robertson. 8 Male, 3 Female Charac- 
ter*. 

The Petticoat Parliament. Extrava- 
ganxa. 1 Act. My Mark Lemon. 15 Male, 24 
Female Characters. 

Cabman No. Oil; or, Founn in a Four 
Wheeler. Farce. 1 Act. By T. J. Williams. 
Male, 2 Female Characters. 



25. The Broken-Hearted Club. Comedietta. 

By J. Stirling Coyne. 4 Male, 8 Female Char- 
acteis. 

26. Society. Comedy. 3 Acts. By T. W. Rob- 

eitson. 16 Male, 5 Female Characters. 

27. Time and 'l ido. Drama. 3 Acts ami a Pro- 

logue. By Henry Leslie. 7 Male, 5 Female 
Characters. 

28. A Happy Pair. Comedietta. 1 Act. By 

S. They i e Smith. 1 Male, 1 Female Charac- 
ters. 

29. Turning the Tables. Farce. 1 Act. By' 

John Poole, Ksq. 5 Male, 3 Female Characteis. 

30. The (loose svith the Golden Eggs. 

Farce. 1 Act. By Messrs. Mayhew uuu r.d- 
warils. f> Male 3 Female Characteis. 

31. Taming a Tiger. Farce. 1 Act. 3 Male 

Characters. 

32. The Little Rebel. Farce. 1 Act. By 

J. Stirling Coyne. 4 Male, 3 Female Charac- 
ters. 

33. One too Many for Him. Farce. 1 Act. 

By T. J. Williams. 2 Male, 3 Female Char- 
acteis. 

34. Larkin’s Love Letters. Farce. 1 Act. 

By 'J'. J. Williams. 3 Mule, 2 Female Charac- 
teis. 

35. A Silent 'Woman. Farce. 1 Art. By 

Thos. Hailes Lacey. 2 Male, 1 Female Charac- 
ters. 

36. Hlack Sheep. Drama. 3 Acts. By. I. Pal- 

grave Simpson and Edmund Yates. 7 Male, 5 
Female Characteis. 

37. A Silent Protector. Farce. 1 Act. By 

T. J. Williams. 3 Mule, 2 Female Characteis. 
88. The Rightful Heir. Drama. 5 Acts. By 

Lord Lytton. 19 Male, 2 Female Characters. 

39. Master .tones’ Ilirtliday. Farce. 1 Act. 

By John Maddison Morton. 4 Male, 2 Female 
Charactei s. 

40. Atchi. Comedietta. 1 Act. By J. Maddison 

Motion. 3 Male, 2 Female Characters. 

41. Reautiful Forever. Farce. 1 Act. By' 

Frederick Hay. 2 Male, 2 Female Charactei*;. 

42. Time and the Hour. Drama. 2 Acts. 

By J. l’algrave Simpson and Felix Dale. 7 
Male, 3 Female Characters 

43. Sisterly Service. Comedietta. 1 Act. 

By J. P. Wooler. 7 Male, 2 Female Charade. s. 

44. War to the Knife. Comedy. 3 Acts. By 

Henry J. Byron. 6 Male, 4 Female Charactei s. 

45. Our Domestics. Comedy-Farce. 2 Acts. 

By Frederick Hay. 6 Male, 6 Female Char- 
net ei s. 

46. Miriam’s Crime. Drama, r. Acts. By 

li. T. Craven. 5 Male, 2 female Characters. 

47. Easy Shaving. Farce. 1 Act. By F. C. 

Bui uand and Montague Williams. 5 Male, 2 
Female Character*. 

48. Little Annie’s ltlrthdny. Farce. By 

W. K. Suter. 2 Mrle, 4 female Charactei s. 


CUPID’S EYE-GLASS. 


% ©omcirg, 


IN ONE ACT. 


BY THOMAS PIOTOH, 

Author of “ A Hard Case,” “ There's 710 Smoke without Fire” “ A Tempest in a Teat « 
Pot,” “ } Tis Better to Live than to Die,” “ A Tell-Tale Heart” etc., etc. 


TO WHICH IS ADDED, 


A DESCRIPTION OF THE COSTUME ? CAST OK THE CHARACTERS— —EKf' 

TRANCES AND EXITS— RELATIVE POSITIONS OF THE PER- 
FORMERS ON THE STAGE, AND THE WHOLE 
OF THE STAGE BUSINESS. 


, . r . r> \ 

~*o ■ 





NEW YORK: 

JtOBERT M. BE W ITT, PUBLISHER, 

No. S3 Hose Street. 

— — ■ ■ ■ - — 1 ' ■ ■ " ' " 1 

Entered according to Act of Congress, in the year 1874, by Robeut M. De Witt, 1b 
the office oi the Librarian of Congress, at Washington, D. C„ 


2 


Cupid’s ETE-GLA.8S. 

CHARACTERS. 


Algernon (a Journalist).., 
Valeria (a young Widow) 


f*Sz 52 3 
, P7 sCs 


SCENERY. 

SCENE.— A richly furnished boudoir. Lateral doors, door at back ; at L., first 


• • •••••••• • 

• • • • . • • - • 

, . Book-case. 

•Chair. 


• • 

•* *Chair. Looking-glass. \ • \ 

’ and *. *. 

Door. Chimney-piece. '. * \ 1st 



groove, chimney-piece and looking-glass ; at l., back, a bookcase. 


COSTUMES. 

Algernon. — Black coat, white waistcoat, black pantaloons, patent leather boots, 
white cravat. 

Valeria. —Full evening dress. 

PROPERTIES. 

Book -case ; two arm-chairs ; looking-glass ; piece of tapestry ; book ; a red hood ; 
a pelisse ; chairs ; handsome furniture. 


SYNOPSIS. 

A caustic journalist, writing against the fashions and foibles in vogue with the 
female sex, is enamored of an intelligent widow, who contrives to wean him from all 
his prejudices, and to extort a practical confession of their absurdity, before suffer- 
ing him to win her hand. The piece is particularly adapted to amateur performance, 
and, when well performed, highly effective. 


STAGE DIRECTIONS. 

R. means Right of Stage, facing the Audience ; L. Left ; C. Centre ; R. C. Right 
of Centre ; L. C. Left of Centre. D. E. Door in the Flat, or Scene running across 
the back of the Stage ; C. D. F. Centre Door in the Flat ; R. D. F. Right Door in 
the Flat ; L. C. F. Left Door in the Flat ; R. D. Right Door ; L. D. Left Door ; 1 E. 
First Entrance; 2 E. Second Entrance; U. E. Upper Entrance ; 1, 2 or 3 Q. First 
Second or Third Groove. 

R. R. C. C. R. C. 

&3T The reader is supposed to be upon the stage facing the audience. 


L. 


CUPID’S EYE-GLASS 


SCENE. — A richly-furnished boudoir ; lateral doors, door at back; at l . 
first groove , chimney-piece and looking-glass ; at l., back, a book-case. 

At the rising of the cwtain Valeria is discovered seated, and working upon 
a piece of tapestry ; Algernon is seated near her. 

Valeria. You write, I am given to understand, for those ephemeral 
sheets flooding the town ? 

Algernon. Ephemeral ! You are ungenerous, madam. Give honor 
to unfortunate courage ! 

Val. And is it on account of dealing in this decayed literature that 
you are induced to suppose yourself to be a man of superior genius 7 

Alger. I believe myself to possess as much genius as enables me to 
act in accordance with the rest of the world. 

Val. That is to say that the rest of the world accords you possession 
of genius. 

Alger. No ! but every one should think in that way. 

Val. That is levelling at me. 

Alger. I had no intention of discharging an epigram at you. But 
how could it be avoided 7 It’s impossible that you have no conscious- 
ness of your merit. 

Val. It is the old proverb as to the beam in your neighbor’s eye ! 

Alger. And is it because I love you that you would drive me to de- 
spair ? 

Val. Who has implored you to love me 7 

Alger. Is it my fault that you are witty and handsome ? 

Val. You find me handsome because, at this moment, you will use no 
other eye-glass 

Alger. ( interrupting her). There needs no eye-glass to admire you. 

Val. Admitted — but you have before your eyes an invisible eye-glass, 
a prism, which embellishes everything — Cupid's eye-glass. Conse- 
quently, when your irony is exerted against all the ladies of your ac- 
quaintance, I alone am excepted. 

Alger. I am well recompensed ; a moment since you accused me of 
foppishness, the failing I particularly abhor. 

Val. You have many others ; that one is the most developed. 

Alger. Upon what do you base this judgment 1 

Val. Upon your conceitedness. For a long hour you sought to dem- 
onstrate that addiction to the ridiculous killed love, and you maddened to 
a red heat at finding me of a contrary opinion. Ah ! it can bo readily 
perceived that you love rather through the medium of the imagination 
than of the heart. 


4 


cttpid’s eye-glass. 


Alger. Madam, I swear to you 

Val. You are again going to recite me your rounded sentences. Do 
not trouble yourself. In our profession we are accustomed to be bom- 
barded with insipidities. 

Alger. Your profession ? 

Val. Yes, that of young widow ; but let us continue our dissertations 
— ’tis more amusing and less dangerous. 

Alger. Less dangerous ! Another raillery 

Val Less dangerous— for you. Tell me, 1 pray you, what do you 
understand by the ridiculous, in the case of a female ! 

Alger. The ridiculous strikes the eye ; still it is extremely difficult to 
be defined. 

Val. You have gratified me by a long discourse against foot warmers. 
You laid it down as an axiom that it was ridiculous to make use of them. 
Hence, as the ridiculous kills love — according to you, at least, — it suf- 
fices for a woman to make use of a foot warmer — a poor, innocent foot 
warmer, to stifle, at the same moment, your passion for her. 

Alger. Such utensils should be resigned to the poor, unfortunate 
wretches, condemned to vend vegetables, as hucksters in public markets, 
and to others, exposed to drafts of out-door chilling air. 

Val. What else do you qualify by the ridiculous ? 

Alger. Those thousand little nothings, which give offence to persons, 
whom education has elevated to a front rank. There exists a crowd of 
vulgar manias, betokening pettiness of soul. For instance, women can 
be f und capable of bringing up animals with a maternal tenderness, of 
devising legacies in favor of cats, do :s, or squirrels. 

Val. (with affected seriousness ). 'Tis infamous ! 

Alger. A woman can never be too scrupulous in the matter of attire; 
to wear, at twenty, leg of mutton sleeves and a yellow hat, is a lack of 
taste ; and to array one’s self, at fifty, in a rollicking toilet, is the height 
of pretension. 

Val. In all of which I accord with you ; still continue. 

Alger. We know not how strongly to scourge that habit of remaining 
two hours every morning before a mirror to besmear the face, as an act- 
ress, cast to play the part of an Indian squaw — a habit ceased of exist- 
ence for over a quarter of a century. 

Val. Furthermore ? 

Alger. What do I know? I will never finish should I continue on 
this chapter. But madam, that which caps the climax, the quintessence 
of monstrosity, is the wearing of a hood. 

Val It is criminal ! (with strong emphasis. ) 

Alger Rather than give my arm in the street, madam, to a head, 
garnished with a hood, I would blow out my brains. (Valeria laughs 
heartily.) 

Val. You amuse me greatly. 

Alger. I am charmed. I esteem myself fortunate in provoking your 
hilarity ; but let us converse, with your permission, on more important 
topics. 

Val. The panic in Wall street, or the great trial 1 

Alger. Of my love ! 

Val. That is a trial you impose on yourself. 

Alger. 1 hope to gain my cause. 

Val You will gain it — should you plead eloquently. 

Alger, (takes her hand i. Thanks ! 

Val. Y ou are a creature of vivacity. You have made me drop my 
ball of wool, (she is abmt to stoop down.) 

Alger. Do not disarrange yourself, (searches after the ball of wool). 


cupid’s eye-glass. 5 

Yes ! I will gain my cause, for [ plead it with the eloquence of the 
heart, and — ah ! 

Val. What’s happened to you ? 

Algek. ( shaking his hand as he rises from the floor), I have burned my- 
self ! 

Val. You must have touched my foot warmer. 

Alger. What? 

Val. [with feigned shame). Imprudent woman ! 

Alger. What said you? 

Val. I ? Nothing. 

Alger A foot warmer ! 

Val. It creates in you the impression of a poor, unfortunate wretch, 
condemned to vend vegetables, as a huckster, in our pubiic markets ? 

Alger. A foot warmer ! 

Val. Or, perchance, of some one exposed to drafts of out-door chill- 
ing air ? 

Alger. ( embarrassed ). The winter has been rigorous this year. 

Val. The thermometer stood yesterday within some few degrees of 
zero. 

Alger. Moreover, fashion, that capricious deity, domineering over all 
prejudices — [slops suddenly , then adds, after a pause) A foot warmer is, to- 
day, considered to be in very good taste. 

Val. Heaven be praised ! (after a pause) Overlook this piccadillo ; but 
I am not one of those women, nursing animals, or besmearing themselves 
with paint. 

Alger, [who has reseated himself ) . I would not do you the injury of 
believing you such. 

Val. I am not akin to Mrs. Moneybags, who owns her palatial mansion 
on the Avenue. 

Alger. Nothing can astonish me concerning a person whose parents 
wallowed in the grease of a grocer’s shop. 

Val. By the way, Mrs. Moneybags has invited me to dinner this very 
evening. 

Alger. And — (a pause) are you going ? 

Val. Assuredly. 

Alger. Then — [a pause ) you drive me hence ? 

Val. I am too polite for that. 

Alger. Only you did not ask me to go away. 

Val. You will offer your arm to escort me to her door, and, on the 
morrow, you will revisit me. 

Alger. You are very kind. 

Val. How know you so — you, who know me so slightly ? 

Alger. I know enough to appreciate you. 

Val. According to the focus of your eye-glass. 

Alger. Would you that I portray your real traits ? 

Val. Ridiculous ones ? 

Alger. Can you place credence in me ? 

Val. Well, well — these real traits? 

Alger. You shall have them. You are heedless, irresolute, some- 
times slightly ironical, much oftener overcapricious ; those are your 
faults. Now for your good qualities: you are as handsome as possible, 
gracious to excess, excellent hearted, rare witted, and I know no woman 
worthy of being compared to you. 

Val. Do I possess one cardinal quality, it is that of not being offended 
at sincere advice extended me, and hence I thank you. ( she extends her 
hand. Algernon hisses it. Valeria coughs.) 

Alger. Have you taken cold ? 


6 


cupid’s eye-glass. 


Yal. X dread so doing; this boudoir is ice-like; I have plenty of fire 
in my chamber, but a bed chamber is so lonely. 

Alger. Above all 

Yal Above all what 1 ? 

Algeu. Nothing. 

Val. I am troubled with curiosity ; is it one of my forgotten sins in 
your nomenclature ' Colne— what were you about to say ? 

Algeu. ( with great hesitation). That, in truth, a bed chamber is lonely. 

( pauses) Above all, when it is a widow’s. (Valeria shivers, turns around , 
and coughs) If you were to put on a cloak 1 

Val. Be kind enough to give me my pelisse, which you will find on 
the lounge in the drawing-room. 

• Alger. Immediately, (he goes towards door r.) 

Val. Softly! 

Alger. Some one sleeping 1 
Val. Yes — Don Tomaso. 

Alger. Don Tomaso ? 

Val. A superb Maltese. 

Alger. A Maltese 1 

Val. ( as if to herself). Aye — haven’t I told him 1 
Alger. A Maltese cat in your house? 

Val. Is it unpardonable? 

Alger. Valeria! 

Val. Do you i>ity me X 

Alger. I have no sympathy for cats, it is true, but I have still less 
for mice. The little beasts are so disagreeable. 

Val. Imagine to yourself, they ransack my apartments. 

Alger. Then you have had this cat but momentarily I 

Val. A present from my husband 

Alger. Was it included among wedding presents'? 

Val. My pelisse — I am freezing. 

Alger. I am forgetting. ( enters room r.) 

Val. {alone). He amuses me! singular personage! he believes him- 
self a serious man, while he is nothing but an obstinate boy, led about 
by the meanest dainty. He conceives he possesses a healthy judgment, 
and I charge myself with extorting contradictions from him, twenty to 
the hour. Ah ! gentlemen, if you were, after marriage, that which you 
were before, how happy would we be, and better comprehend your in- 
terests. 

Alger. ( re-enters ). Ah ! madam, the admirable Maltese. 

Val Is he not 1 

Alger. If all cats resemble him I would adore them. 

Val. And my pelisse ? 

Alger. It was not upon the lounge, where Senor Don Tomaso was 
■gently purring^ 

Val. Go, then, into the dining-room 

Alger. Into the dining-room? very well, (he goes to the l., and is 
about opening the lateral door there.) 

Val. Close the door quickly. 

Alger. You are right ; drafts of air must be distrusted. 

Val. That is not the motive — I take few precautions — but Paquinlo 
is so mischievous when he flies about ; nothing enrages me more bitterly, 
Alger. Paquinto 1 
Val. A superb parroquet ! 

Alger. A parroquet ! ( a dog barks) What do 1 hear ? 

Val. It is Venus. 

Alger. Venus? 


7 


cupid’s eye-glass. 

Val. A superb gray hound ! 

Alger. A superb dog ! a superb cat ! a superb parroquet ! But, 
madam, are your apartments converted into a menagerie 1 

Val. Thanks ! 

Alger. Oh ! excuse me ! 

Val. You hate me ! 

Alger I ? I to hate ! 

Val. You must know this parroquet is extremely precious — from gen- 
eration to generation — over a hundred years it has been in my family. 

Alger. And this dog ? — this frightful poodle 1 

Val. It is not a frightful poodle — it is grace and fidelity combined. It 
is a charming creature, which does not manufacture high-flown phrases, 
nor spin out sonnets, but is a friend, in whom confidence can be placed. 
Moreover, reflect that I am here alone with my waiting maid. A fine 
looking girl, this waiting maid of mine ! Mr. Moneybags bestows on 
her such glances. 

Alger. I know several gentlemen who have bestowed upon his wife 
just such glances. 

Val. Mrs. Moneybags is good-looking. 

Alger. In the days of yore it may have been possible, but, at this 
day, she has no need of a dog to defend her. 

Val. Nevertheless she desired me to present her with Venus, (Alger- 
non shows joy) but I could not find it in my heart ever to separate her 
from me. 

Alger, {dolefully). Ever ? 

Val. She came to me from my mother. 

Alger. It’s my mother’s dog ! 

Val. My pelisse ? 

Alger. Forthwith. [Exits by door l. 

Val. [alone). He would, should I marry him, have me keep these poor 
beasts under lock and key. Oh ! should he commit this triple assassina- 
tion ! But I know how to make him love them— to the point of compos- 
ing verses for them — to the point of forgetting his wife for them, should 
I so will it. But I will command it not. 

Alger, {re-entering). Do you know, madam, that that parroquet is 
very handsome ! what brilliant colors ! And that grayhound ! now deli- 
cious she is as she came barking gently around me ! Ah ! if all dogs 
and all parroquets were like those you have, I would make collections 
of them — have them even in my pockets. But, madam, here is your 
pelisse, {hands it to her.) 

Val. It is useless now ; it is the hour for starting. 

Alger. Could you not renounce Mrs. Moneybags in my favor 1 

Val. Would you have me transform her into an enemy? Time sim- 
ply to smooth my hair, and I will be with you. 

[She exits through door to room r.. 

Alger, {alone). There is truth in the old proverb, which says, “ What 
woman wishes God decrees 1 ” She has compelled me to admire these 
accursed animals— no, not accursed, for they are very pretty. Valeria 
is not like those old gossips who bring up the vulgar breed, and at night 
play vingt-et-un, surrounded by their wards. ( after a pause) At the idea 
of going out with her I cannot restrain a slight emotion. Let us repair 
the disorder of my toilet. 


lie looks into the mirror, and remakes the tie of his cravat. The door of the 
room into which Valeria had passed, reopens, and she appears on the 
threshold. 


8 


cupid’s eye-glass. 


Yal. Here I am ! 

Alger ( falling into an arm-chair). Is this a dream ? 

Val. {feigning simplicity) . A dream ? 

Alger. You have done it on purpose. 

Val. (in the same style as before). Purpose — what? — you speak in 
enigmas. 

Alger. That red hood ! 

Yal. So it is— ah ! great heavens ! it is done ! it is the height of the 
ridiculous, as you have told me ! hood ! It caps the climax ! is the 
quintessence of monstrosity ! My friend, I have forfeited your esteem ; 
I see it, I feel it. 

Alger. A hood !— and a red hood above all ! 

Val. I will retire, as I embitter your existence. Still it was done in- 
voluntarily. Pardon me, if within your power. Adieu ! 

Alger. Valeria ! what a demon you are, or, rather, what an angel ! 

Val. Come ! 1 will go alone to Mrs. Moneybags’ mansion ; the dis- 
tance is not great. 

Alger. Have you not permitted me to offer you my arm 1 

Val. I now refuse it — through Christian charity. 

Alger. How is that ? 

Val I do not wish you to blow out your brains ! 

Alger. You spare nothing to perfect my torture. 

Val. H 

Alger. As the trivial and sublime near approach ! Another would 
have been repulsive to me, but you — you are adorable ! 

Val. Let us start, my friend. ( they go up to back.) 

Alger, (on the threshold). And what do they do at Mrs. Moneybags’ 
evening parties 1 

Val. ( coming down). As in all other drawing-rooms; we converse, we 
play the piano, we give ourselves up to innocent recreations, we likewise 
game at vingt-et-un. I’m crazy on vingt-et-un. 

Alger, (falling into arm-chair , r.). Vingt-et-un ! 

Val. Does that vex you l — Is it because ? — no, yes — perchance it 
borders on the ridiculous 1 

Alger, {aside). Let’s restrain ourselves through fear of being ridicu- 
lous in our own turn. 

Val. 1 am a favorite with chance — I take the pool often — you will 
come; I invite you. Vingt-et-un does not absorb all the intellectual 
faculties ; you can likewise fabricate jolcs, puns, and sprightly sayings ; 
we are permitted to show off our wit. 

Alger In that I am sure you take the pool. 

Val. Come ! 

Alger. But before, promise me a consolation for all the spiteful re- 
marks you have caused me to endure 

Val. A sugar plum? 

Alger. Our m’arriage ! 

Val. You still love me ? 

Alger. Alas ! yes. It was not, however, my fault — I did not do it 
on purpose. 

Val. Despite my ridiculous notions? 

Alger. You have simply charming eccentricities — I adore you. 

Val. Despite my ugliness 1 

Alger. Your ugliness ! 

Val You smile, but it is positive that some one found me lacking in 
beauty. 

Alger. Assuredly, l>ut Hint < oil body was a woman. 

Val. It was Mrs. Moneyb gs. 


9 


cttpid’s eye-glass. 

Alger. The antiquated idiot ! but do you hear 1 

Val. What ] 

Alger. It is raining, and 1 fear we cannot find a disengaged vehicle — 

Val. What then! 

Alger Valeria! if you loved me 

Val. Open the book-case. 

Alger. Still another cruelty — behold it open. 

Val. Take down the first volume of Moliere. 

Alger. I have it. 

Val. Open at the second act of The Misanthrope — at the page indicated 
by the book-mark. (Algehnon does as requested, and hands hook to her) 
Listen, I pray you. ( she rea s ) “ Lovers to the world always vaunt their 
choice. Never does their passion perceive aught blamable To them 
the object of their adoration becomes total amiability ; they reckon de- 
fects as perfections, and know how to bestow on them favorable appella- 
tions. The pale adored is compared to the whiteness of the jasmine ; 
the dark becomes a cause of dread, a brunette, of admiration ; the lean 
one possesses ihe stature and air of Liberty ; the stout, a bearing replete 
with majesty ; the slovenly loved one. upon whom are few attractions 
charged, is placed beneath the denomination of negligent beauty ; the 
giantess appears to her admirer's eyes a deity ; the dwarf, a concentra- 
tion of celestial marvels ; to the haughty is awarded a spirit worthy of a 
crown ; to the cozener, a fund of wit ; and to the stupid, plentitude of 
goodness. The garrulous gossip is, in love’s glances, a person of agree- 
able humor ; while the mute preserves an honest shame. It is thus that 
the lover, whose passion is intense, admires even the defects of the wo- 
man he adores.” Well ! what say you to these sentiments ? 

Alger. They are profound, as were all coming from a philosophic 
master. 

Val. See you not that they compose the apology for the prism of 
which I spoke to you before, and which obstructs your sight 

Alger. ( seating himself near Valeria). A prism ] 

Val. You know it well — Cupid’s Eye-Glass. 


CURTAIN. 


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OCT 6 1931 






De Witt's Acting Plays — Continued. 


Ho. 

49. The Midnight Watch. Drama. 1 Act. 
By John M. Morton. 8 Male, 2 Female Char- 
acters. 

60. The Porter’s Knot. Serio-Comic Drama. 

2 Acta. Dy Jolm Oxeul'ord. 8 Mule, 2 Female 
Characters. 

61. A Model for a Wife. Farce. 1 Act. By 

Alfred Wigan. 3 Male, 2 Female Characters. 

62. A Cup of Tea. Comedietta. 1 Act. By 

Charles Nuittcr and J. Derley. 3 Male, 1 Fe- 
male Characters. 

63. Gertrude’s Money-Box. Farce. 1 Act. 

By Uarry Lemon. 4 Male, 2 Female Characters. 

64. The Youn™ Collegian. Farce. 1 Act. 

By T. W. Robertson. 3 Male, 2 Female Char- 
acters. 

66. Catherine Howard ; sr, Tho Throne, the 
Tomb and the Scaffold. Historic Play. 3 Acts. 
By W. V. buter. 12 Male, 6 Female Characters. 

66. Two Gay Deceivers; or, Black, White 

and Cray. Farce. 1 Act. By T. W. Robert- 
son. 3 Male Characters. 

67. lYoi-inie. Drama. 2 Acts. By T. W. Robert- 

son. 4 Male, 4 Female Characters. 

68. Deborah (Leah) ; or. The Jewish Malden’s 

Wrong. Drama. 3 Acts. By Chas. Smith 
Chidtuam. 7 .Male, C Female Characters. 

89. The Post-Boy. Drama. 2 Acts. By IL T. 

Craven. 6 Male, 3 Female Characters. 

CO. Tlio Hidden H ind ; or, The Gray Lady of 
Forth Ventinn. Drama. 4 Acts. By Tom 
Taylor. 5 Mule, 6 Female Characters. 

61. Plot nnd Passion. Drama. 3 Acts. By 

Tom Taylor. 7 Male, 2 Female Characters. 

62. A Photographic Fix. Farce. 1 Act. By 

Frederick Hay. 3 Male, 2 Female Charac- 
ters. 

63. Marriage n t any Price. Farce. 1 Act. 

By J. I\ Wooler. 6 Male, 3 Female Charac- 
ters. 

64. A Elousclioid Fairy. A Domestic Sketch. 

1 Act. By Frauds Tall'ourd. 1 Male, 1 Fe- 
male Characters. 

66. Cliecltmatc. Comedy Farce. 2 Acts. By 
Andrew Ualliday. G Male, 6 Female Charac- 
ters. 

66. The Orange Girl. Drama, In a Prologno 

and 3 Acts. By Henry Leslie. 18 Male, 4 Fe- 
male Characters. 

67. The Birth-place of Podgers. Farce. 

1 Act. By John HolliugsUcad. 7 Male, 3 Fe- 
male Characters. 

68. The Che valier de St. George. Drama. 

6 Acts. ByT. W. ltobertsou. 9 Male, 3 Fe- 
male Charade'-. 

69. Caught by Cue Cuff. Farce. 1 Act. By 

Frederick H\y. 4 Male, 1 Femulo Character*. 

70. The Bonnie Fish "Wife. Farce. 1 Act. 

By Charles Selby. 3 Male, 1 Female Characters. 

71. Doing for the Best. Domestic Drama. 2 

Acts. ByM. liaphiuo Lacy. 6 Male, 3 Female 
Characters. 

72. A Came Excuse. Farce. 1 Act. By Fred- 

erick Hay. 4 Mule, 2 Female Characters. 

73. Fettered. Drama. 8 Acts. By Watts Phil- 

lips. 1 1 Mate, 4 Female Characters. 

74. TUo Garrick Fever. Farce. 1 Act. By 

J. It. Blanche. 7 Malo, 4 Female Characters. 

76. Adrienne. Drama. 3 Acts. By Henry Leslie. 

7 Male, 3 Female Characters. 

- 76. Chops of the Channel. Nautical Farce. 

1 Act. By Frederick Hay. 3 Male, 2 Female 
Characters. 

77. The Boll of the Drum. Drama. A Acts. 

By Thomas Egerton Wilks. 8 Male, 4 Female 
Characters. 

it Special Performances. Farce. 1 Act. 
By Wllmot Harrison. 7 Male, 3 Female Char- 
acters. 

73. A Sheep In Wolfs Clothing. Domestic 

Drama. 1 Act. By Tom Taylor. 7 Male, 6 
Female Characters. 


No. 

80. A Charming Pair. Farce, i Act. By 
Thomas J. W Uliana. 4 Male, 3 Female Char- 
acters. 

8L Vandyke Brown. Farce. 1 Act By A. 

C. Troughton. 3 Male, 3 Female Characters. 

82. Peep o’ Day ; or, Savoumeen Pheelish. 

(New Drury Laue Version.) Irish Drama. 4 
Acts. By Edmund Falconer. 12 Malo, 4 Fe- 
male Characters. 

83. Thrice Married. Personation Piece. 1 

Act. By Howard Paul. G Male, 1 Femalo 
Characters. 

84. IVot Guilty. Drama. 4 Acts. By Watts 

Phillips. 10 Male, G Female Characters. 

83. Locked in with n Lady. Sketch from 
Lifo. By U. R. Addison. 1 Mule, 1 Female 
Characters. 

86. The Lady of Lyons; or, Loro and Pride. , 

(The Fecliter Version.) l’lay. 6 Acts. By 
Lord L) t tou. 10 Male, 3 Female Characters. 

87. Locked Out. Comic Scene. 1 Act. By 

Howard Pad. 1 Male, 1 Female Characters. 

88. Founded on Facts. Farce. 1 Act. By 

J.P. Wooler. 4 Male, 2 Female Character*. 

89. Aunt Charlotte’s Maid. Fane. 1 Act. 

By J. M. Morton. 3 Mule, 3 Female Charac- 
ters. 

98. Only n Halfpenny. Farce. 1 Act. By i 
John Oxeulord. 2 Male, 3 Fenv.ie Characters. 

9L Walpole; or, Every Man has his Price. 
Comedy in Rhyme. 3 Acts. By Lord Lyttoik 
7 Male. 2 Femalo Characters. 

92. My Wife’s Out. Farce. 1 Act. By CL 

Herbert Uod well. 2 Male, 3 Female Characters. 

93. The Area Belle. Farce. 1 Act. By William 

Brough and Andrew Halliday. 3 Male, 2 Fe- 
male Characters. 

94. Our Clerks ; or. No. 3 Fig Tree Court Tern • 

pie. Farce. 1 Act. 7 Male, 6 Female Char- 
acters. 

95. Tho Pretty Elorso Breaker. Farce. 

1 Act. lly William Brough and Andrew Halli- 
day. 3 Male. 10 Female Characters. 

96. Dearest Mamma. Comedietta. 1 Act. 

By Walter Qordon. 4 Male, 3 Femalo Charac- 
ters. 

97. Orange Blossoms. Comedietta. 1 Act. 

By J. I*. Wooler. 3 Mule, 3 Female Characters. 

98. 'Who is Who? or. All in a Fog. Farce. 

1 Act. By Thomas J. Williams. 3 Male, 2 Fe- 
male Characters. 

99. The Fifth Wheel. Comedy. 3 Acts. 10 

Male, 2 Female Characters. 

100. Jack Long ; or, The Shot lu the Eye. Drama. 

2 Acts. By J.B. Johnstone. 6 Male, 1 Female 
Characters. 

101. Fernand e. Drama. 3 Act*. By Viotcrlea 
Sartlou. 11 Malo, 10 Femalo Characters. 

102 Foiled, Drama. 4 Acts. By 0. TV. Cornish—. 

8 Male, 3 Female Characters 

103. Fanst ond Margucrltto. Drama. 3 

Acts. Ey T. W. Robertson. 9 Male, 7 Femalo 
Characters. 

104. No Name. Drama. 4 Acts. By Wilkie Col- 

lins. 7 Male, 5 Female Characters 

105. Which of til* Tero. Comedietta. 1 Act 

By John M Morton. 2 Malo. 10 Female Characters 

106. Up for tho Cattle Show. Farce, l Act 

By Uarry Lemon. 0 Male, 2 Female Characters 

107. Cupboard Love. Farce. 1 Act. By Fred- 

crick Hay. 2 Male. 1 Femalo Characters 

108. Mr. t'crogr? Ins. Farce. 1 Act. By William 

Hancock. 3 Male, 3 To nalo Characters 

108. Lorkt d In. Comedietta. 1 Act By J. P. 

\V oolcr. 2 Male. 3 Female Characters 

110. Poppleton’* Predkaniert*. Pares. 1 

Act. By Charles M.Rac. 3 Male, 6 Fsaude Char, 
actcrs 

111. The Liar. Cemedy. 5 Acts. By Baml FaeUi 

Altered and adapted by Charles Mauhowa. 7 Mala 
and 2 Ft malt Characters. 



LIBRARY OF CONGRESS 


0 012 072 852 0 

De Witt’s Acting JPiays, continued. 


No 

112. Not a Bit Jealous. A Farce, in 1 Act. By 

T. W. Roberlsou. 3 Male, 3 Female characters 

113. Cyril’s Success. Comedy, in 5 Acts. By H. 

J. Byron. U Male, 5 Female characters. 

114. Anything lor a Change. Petite Comedy, 

in 1 Act. By Shirley Brooks. 3 Male, 3 Fe- 
male characters. 


No 

137. L’Arttcle 4? ; or, Breaking the Ban. Drama, 

in 3 Acts. By Adolphe Belot. 11 Male, 5 Fe- 
male characters 

138. Polland Partner Joe; or the Pride of Put- 

ney, and the Pressing Pirate. New and Origi- 
nal Nautical Burlesque. By F. C. Burnand. — 
7 Male, 6 Female characters 



115. New Men and Old Acres. Comedy, in 3 

Acts. By Tom Taylor. 8 Male, 5 Female char- 
acters. 

116. I’m not Mesilf at all. An Original Irish 
Stew. By C. A. Maltby. 3 Male, 2 Female 
characters 

117. Not Suen a Fool as he Cooks. Farcical 

Drama, in 3 Acts. By H. J. Byron. 5 Male, 4 

1 emale characters. 

118. Wanted, a Young Lady. Farce, in 1 Act. 

By VV . E. Butur. 3 Mule characters. 

119. A Life Chase. Drama, in 5 Acts. By John 

Oxenl'ord. 14 Male, 5 Female characters 

120. A Tempest in a '1 ea Pot. Fetite Comedy, 

in 1 Act. By Thomas Picton. 2 Male, 1 Fe- 
male charae.ers 

121. A Comical Countess. Farce, in 1 Act. By 

William Brough . 3 Mal^ r t emale characters 

122. Isabella Orsisii. Rom^„ticDrama,in4 Acts* 

By S. H. Mosenthal. 1 1 Male, 4 Female charac- 
ters 

! 123. The Two Poets. Farce. By John Court- 
nay. 4 Male, 4 Female characters 

124. The Volunteer Review. A Farce. By 

Thomas J. Williams, Esq. 6 Male, 6 Female 
characters , 

125. Beerfoot, Farce, in 1 Act. By F. C. Bur- 

nand, Esq. fi Male, 1 Female characters 

i 126. Twice Killed. Farce. By John Oxenford. — 
6 Male, 3 Female characters 

127. Peggy Green. Farce. By Charles Selby.— 

3 Male, 10 Female characters 

128. The Female Detective. Original Drama> 

in 3 Acts. By C. H. Hazlewood, 11 Male, 4 
Female charaters 

129. In lor a Holiday. Farce, in 1 Act. By F. C. 

Burnand, Esq. 2 Male, 3 Female characters 

130. My Wife’s Diary, Farce, in 1 Act. By T. 

W. Robertson, 3 Male, 1 Female characters 

131. Go to Putney. Original Farce, in 1 Act. By 

Harry Lemon. 3 Male, 4 Female characters 

132. A Race for a Dinner. Farce. By J. T. 

G. Rod well. 10 Male characters 

133. Timothy to the Rescue. Original Farce, 

in 1 Act. By Henry J. Byron, Esq, 4 Male, 

2 Female characters 

134. Tompkins the Troubadour. Farce, ini 

Act. By Messrs. Lockroy and Marc Michel. — 

3 Male, 2 Female characters 

135. Everybody’s Friend. Original Comedy, in 

3 Acts. By J. Stirling Coyne, Esq. 6 Male, 5 
Female characters 

136. The Woman in Red. Drama, in 3 Actsand 

a Prologue. By J. Stirling Coyne, Esq. 6 Male 
8 Female characters 


139. Joy is Dangerons. Comedy, in 2 Acts, By 

James Mortimer. 3 Male, 3 Female characters 

140. Never Reekon your Chickens. Farce, in 

1 A> t. By Wybert Reeve. 3 Male, 4 Femal* 
tharacters 

De Witt’s Ethiopian ani 
Comic Draia. 

No. Price 15 Cents Each. 

1. The Last of the Mohicans. Ethiopian 
Sketch. By J. C, Stewart. 3 Male, 1 Female 
chatac ters. 

2. Tricks. Ethiopian Sketch. By J. C. Stewart 
6 Maie, 2 Female characters. 

3. Hemmed In. Ethiopian Sketch. 3 Male, 1 

Female characters. 

4. Eh? What is it? Ethiopian Sketch. By J. 
C. Stewart. 4 Male, 1 Female characters. 

5. The Two Black Roses. Ethiopian Sketch 
Bv J.C. Stewart. 4 Male,l Female characters. 

6. The Black Chap from Whitechapel. 
An eccentric Negro piece. By H. L. Williams 
Jr , 4 Male characters. 

Do Witt’s Elocutionary Series, 

Price 15 Cents Each. 

1. The Academic Speaker. Containing an un 
usual variety o l striking dramatic dialogues and 
other most effective pieees with remarks on Elo- 
cution, Ac. 

2. The Dramatic Speaker. Composed of 

many very carefully chosen Monologues, Dialo- 
gues and other effective scenes from the most 
famous Tragedies, Comedies and Farces. 

3. The Histrionic Speaker. Being a careful 
compilation olthe most amusing Dramatic scenes 
— light, gay, pointed, witty and sparkling. 

4. The Thespian Speaker; being the best 
scenes from t he best Plays teaching the young 
Forensic Student how to speak and act in the 
most approved mannei . 

Worts oil Oratory, Recitation, 
ani Chairman’s Duties, 

Price 50 Cts. Each , Bound in Board. 
ff 75 “ Bound in Cloth. 

DE WITT’S PERFECT ORATOR.— 

Comprising a great number o f Readings, Recita- 
tions, Dialogues and Harangues from the most 
celebrated T raged ies, Poems and Speeches. 
W r EBSTER’S RECITER; or, Elocution 
Made Easy . Plainly showing the proper attitudes 
of the figure, the various expressions oftheface, 
and the different 1 nflections and modulations of 
the voice. 

WEBSTER’S CHAIRMAN’S MANUAL 

and Spe-kers’ Guide showing plainly and 
clearly hew to preside over all kinds, Public, 
Private and Lodge meetings, duties of Officers, &c« 

Foot-light flashes, bvw. David™, 

Comedian. Price $1.50, bound in Cloth, 1 2mo.“ 


